I'm waking up at 1:22PM, very tired. last night I had to halt my journal entry, because the birds had begun to chirp. Anyways, I was deeper in my center and more often in my center. Mikey saw me smoke on Friday, and I was completely relaxed in my center.. He said I was "cured," so he decided that at 2:00am, we go smoke more weed with Allan and Friends. Having hooked up with the girl I was very relzaed in my center and so I was unusually relaxed with Allan and his friends. We smoked weed, I was more relaxed. But there were five of us, and only 4 controllers. I was a spectator which put me in my head. What I've decided is my introverted part of me. On occasion there would be something that would switch on my extrovert, and immediately center me. I went to sleep + now It's sunday. Pedro, who was able to take me from non-paranoid off-center to centered. But I feel like I might move into Paranoid off center. THis doubt is probably a creation of self-fufilling worries like smoking weed reverese the healing process. I want to write, "I'm going to go relax", But I just need to relax. Its easy when there's already conversation,. Man why does it matter? RELAX!

I was sober in the morning, and woke up starting my day with thoughts of how I would approach my friends. I quickly came to relaxing/actualizing. I became my moving center. I was even deeper into my center today. I spend some time in a middle ground, where you are still aware, but not paranoid, and gradually had more frequent occurances of a truly moving-centered self. Mikey had community service, so me and pedro went out to go pick up chicks in the mall. SOmething I hadn't done in a long time. I slid in and out of my center, but inevitably was sucked into the world around me and was natural again. We wealked all over the mall, getting looks from every single chick. We had a one on one conversation with Aurelia, and I was so into my center, that I began to give genuine smiles. How I understand it now is, I will go directly to my center if something comes up rhar I respond to. My head was taking over. I would move in and out of my center. It got gradually better as we met two girls in Bethesda. Most of out time, also included some genuine looks, and actions, and really, really, being. But others not. It was still shifting, but less and less often. I wnded yp hooking up with the girl. I prepped myself with a questioning thought -- I actually don't think I did. But I had experienced for the first time, using "the touch." Being able to truly beleive with your self that your sole purpose is to make your girl feel amazing. Your hands dance, touch electric. It ofent shifted from my head, heart, head, heart. But I completely relaxed my center with her.

For long periods of time, I spoke straight from myself, instead of speaking something uttered while the brain is shouting that someone might not like what you say. I was deeply relaxed with the girl, and it was all good emotion, and her eyes anchored me to internal peace. It was good afterwards.

My friend Pedro came over yesterday. It was a pretty fun day. Most of the time I was in my moving center, but there was part of me that was morried about moving back into my head, because that change would be strange to my friend who moved to NC, and was visiting for the week. I seemed to have more control. Not so much control as I mean to just relax into my center and forget my worries. I ended up smoking weed. But I don't believe that it reset any of the progress. I was even more in my center at times while I was high. I actually think the weed intesifies both experiences. Sober, I'm more often in my center now, and a little off sometimes. Same thing happened with weed. But I woke up in the morning with them in my house and just tracking this putting me in my head, not my center. Im going to go relax --