Psychiatry Experiments Beggining - Stattera Day 2
Published Sunday, October 04, 2009 by l teh pwnz0r l | E-mail this post
- STRATTERA -
Second day starting Statterra [20mg]. I was able to obtain an almost full erection the first time I wanked today. I had more difficulty obtaining orgasm than usual, though I felt almost nothing when I did. The only real proof I had were the fluids. Later, I had sexual urges once again, which is normal. Only I could not get an erection. I could not even get it halfway hard. Frustrated, and worried, I kept at it for an hour, and eventually it started to get some blood into it, and I started actually feeling pleasure from it. I only achieved a full erection when I eventually orgasmed. The orgasm was less pleasurable than normal, but lasted longer. The contractions didn't last longer but a sustained feeling of orgasm lingered, and then turned into a feeling of needing release, as though my orgasm hadn't completed. Then I tried to pee, and it felt like by suing muscles I normally use to pee, I would finish the orgasm. So I tried to pee, and the feeling increased, but the pee never came, so I eventually left the bathroom, and the feeling went away.
I've already had some difficulty peeing prior to taking the medication. I would feel as though it took a lot longer than it should, and the end of the stream was too weak to prevent pee from leaking onto my penis to drip into the toilet. Or sometime I would emtpy all of it, try to be sure it was all gone, and as soon as I put my penis away, a small amount would drip into my underwear. This was starting to subside, or I was finally learning to be more careful.
I also feel extremely unmotivated to go to work, or start any homework. I don't know if I can attribute that to the drug, or maybe I am procrastinating and using side-effects as an excuse. I haven't done much of anything today however. I haven't even played games or do anything to entertain myself.
This morning I was almost too unmotivated to consume my protein shake for breakfast like I do every day in order to stay fit. I should be eating something else right now, but I'm not hungry and I don't really feel like doing anything.
I don't feel depressed really, I just feel like today is a day. A day that is unconnected to anything else. I received payment for my item on ebay, but I thought, hey maybe I should figure out how long it will take to arrive, depending on what shipment i choose, before I tell them "thanks I will ship your order on the 7th." But I don't feel like calculating that, I dont even feel like looking online. I don't feel sad but I don't feel like doing anything at all. I'm too lazy to even surf the internet and learn new things, or play Rock Band. I don't feel like reading for leisure, or even watching a movie or TV.
(I have a sore throat today, but I don't think this is related to the medication. I started showing symptoms the day before I started taking Strattera. Also I am very cold and no one else is. I probably have a fever.)
Update:I spent the last two hours feeling not really tired, but when I decided to do something I felt like sleeping. So I started to situate myself on the couch to read, and read around 5 pages before I noticed I was dosing off and so I put my Kindle down, and laid on the couch for a while, dreaming but not quite asleep. I eventually got up, not feeling as though I had slept and moved to the bed, where I did the same thing for another hour. Occasionally thinking I should get up but feeling as though I was living out more interesting and immersive events when I closed my eyes. I was dreaming I was talking to people, doing things, resolving issues, and having fun. But although I enjoyed it, I decided to get up to write this. I don't feel anymore rested or tired than before. And I have accomplished nothing today at all. I wonder if I'll sleep.
Second day starting Statterra [20mg]. I was able to obtain an almost full erection the first time I wanked today. I had more difficulty obtaining orgasm than usual, though I felt almost nothing when I did. The only real proof I had were the fluids. Later, I had sexual urges once again, which is normal. Only I could not get an erection. I could not even get it halfway hard. Frustrated, and worried, I kept at it for an hour, and eventually it started to get some blood into it, and I started actually feeling pleasure from it. I only achieved a full erection when I eventually orgasmed. The orgasm was less pleasurable than normal, but lasted longer. The contractions didn't last longer but a sustained feeling of orgasm lingered, and then turned into a feeling of needing release, as though my orgasm hadn't completed. Then I tried to pee, and it felt like by suing muscles I normally use to pee, I would finish the orgasm. So I tried to pee, and the feeling increased, but the pee never came, so I eventually left the bathroom, and the feeling went away.
I've already had some difficulty peeing prior to taking the medication. I would feel as though it took a lot longer than it should, and the end of the stream was too weak to prevent pee from leaking onto my penis to drip into the toilet. Or sometime I would emtpy all of it, try to be sure it was all gone, and as soon as I put my penis away, a small amount would drip into my underwear. This was starting to subside, or I was finally learning to be more careful.
I also feel extremely unmotivated to go to work, or start any homework. I don't know if I can attribute that to the drug, or maybe I am procrastinating and using side-effects as an excuse. I haven't done much of anything today however. I haven't even played games or do anything to entertain myself.
This morning I was almost too unmotivated to consume my protein shake for breakfast like I do every day in order to stay fit. I should be eating something else right now, but I'm not hungry and I don't really feel like doing anything.
I don't feel depressed really, I just feel like today is a day. A day that is unconnected to anything else. I received payment for my item on ebay, but I thought, hey maybe I should figure out how long it will take to arrive, depending on what shipment i choose, before I tell them "thanks I will ship your order on the 7th." But I don't feel like calculating that, I dont even feel like looking online. I don't feel sad but I don't feel like doing anything at all. I'm too lazy to even surf the internet and learn new things, or play Rock Band. I don't feel like reading for leisure, or even watching a movie or TV.
(I have a sore throat today, but I don't think this is related to the medication. I started showing symptoms the day before I started taking Strattera. Also I am very cold and no one else is. I probably have a fever.)
Update:I spent the last two hours feeling not really tired, but when I decided to do something I felt like sleeping. So I started to situate myself on the couch to read, and read around 5 pages before I noticed I was dosing off and so I put my Kindle down, and laid on the couch for a while, dreaming but not quite asleep. I eventually got up, not feeling as though I had slept and moved to the bed, where I did the same thing for another hour. Occasionally thinking I should get up but feeling as though I was living out more interesting and immersive events when I closed my eyes. I was dreaming I was talking to people, doing things, resolving issues, and having fun. But although I enjoyed it, I decided to get up to write this. I don't feel anymore rested or tired than before. And I have accomplished nothing today at all. I wonder if I'll sleep.
Main Entry: de·per·son·al·iza·tion
Function: noun
2 : a psychopathological syndrome characterized by loss of identity and feelings of unreality and strangeness about one's own behavior
2 : a psychopathological syndrome characterized by loss of identity and feelings of unreality and strangeness about one's own behavior
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