I was having a discussion with my friends, and they said they think that what I have is anxiety, treatable with anxiety medication. I just thought of a parralel that this could apply to. Often my heart is racing when I am not in my center -- but actually its just as often normal. Perhaps my anxiety is caused by losing my center, or the other way around -- but maybe neither is true. I think it is possible that I do have it. I drew parallels between "being the hunted" or "the hunter" and my gameplay ability is weither terrible or amazing. It is more difficult to pinpoint in something as complex as social interaction, because there are so many contributing factors such as mood, peope, but then again, when I am in my center, there seems to be absolutely no factors at all. It feels natural, inhibitions as loose as when you drink. Strangely though, today I felt far less undermined by my peers, but I also felt as if I was on autopilot, but it wasn't quite genuine. I observe people's reactions to myself, but I seem to be less aware of my own anticipation. I don't believe this is a positive thing, bevause there is almost a psychic link between opening your hear with someone + being natural. I used to be more stressed by my awareness of my anticipation, and this stress would drive me to relax, and would allow me more occasions in which to be me.